Ayantika Malakar

A Spark: The Beginning of a Dream

I vividly remember the first time I shared my desire to buy a scooter with my family. It was just a few months after starting my first job, and the nationwide lockdown during COVID-19 made commuting to my bank branch incredibly difficult. Bankers, unlike many others, were still required to go to their offices during the lockdown. One day, while riding on the back of my father’s bike, I suggested that I buy a scooter to save him from the daily commute with me. His response was simple: ‘Women in our family don’t drive.’ That moment made me even more determined to learn how to drive, but it wasn’t until three years later that I finally enrolled in a driving program.

Facing the Fear: The First Lesson

On my first day, my instructor started with the basics: the A B C of driving. A for accelerator (used to speed up), B for Brake (used to decelerate and stop) and C for Clutch (the connector, like a bridge between two sides in a game).  After a quick rundown of the essentials, he handed me the keys. I can still feel the rush of fear that hit me as I turned the ignition. My heart pounded in my chest, my hands shook. A light press on the accelerator and the wheels began moving. I wasn’t sure if it was the car’s engine roaring or just my nerves, both felt equally powerful.

It was a crisp morning, about 8:30 a.m., and I was driving on a street. Every pedestrian, and every stray animal I saw, made me panic so high that I wished I could jump out of the window. My grip on the steering wheel tightened, and I waved at others to move out of my way. Every turn felt like a leap of faith—would I be able to control the car, or would it take me on a wild ride? The scare lasted for twenty minutes, but the shiver through the nerves and uneven beating of my heart continued for a couple more hours.

The Road to Confidence

But I refused to give up. At home, I turned to the internet, soaking up everything I could about driving. I studied techniques, read tips, and practised the basics in an attempt to build some confidence for the next session. With every driving session, I made new mistakes, repeated some, learned from them, and slowly, my confidence grew. My instructor would sometimes get frustrated and ask, “Kiiii Korcho?” (What are you doing?) But I persisted, pushed through every challenge, and gradually, my fear began to fade. Today, I drive my car and yes, I am still improving.

Steering Through Stares: The Struggles Beyond the Wheel

Learning to drive was a challenge, but it wasn’t just about mastering the car. The real hurdles came from what I faced outside the car – the societal views on women driving. The first time I drove through my neighbourhood, I felt like I was in an old-time movie where a woman driving was the greatest spectacle of the day. Every time I drive through the towns, especially in rural areas, I can feel the eyes of others on me. People stare in disbelief, some freeze, while some visibly tremble when my car approaches. On one occasion, a crowd even gathered to watch me drive away from a petrol pump. Sometimes, I even feel like people are watching my every move, scrutinizing me—whether they are or not. That constant feeling of being judged creates self-doubt, making you second-guess yourself, even on the most basic of manoeuvres. It’s as if every glance and every comment, becomes a reminder that I’m doing something I’m not ‘supposed’ to be doing.  I often hear whispers and comments like, ‘She’s driving… isn’t that unusual?’, ‘Oh my God! It’s a lady behind the steering wheel.’ It was far from encouraging, but it became clear to me that women driving is still viewed as an anomaly in many parts of society.

As women, we are often unfairly labeled as poor or reckless drivers. A minor mistake behind the wheel is magnified, with judgments more severe than those aimed at men. It’s as if being a woman behind the wheel automatically means you’re not allowed to take your time or make mistakes. If you’ve ever scrolled through social media, you’ll have seen memes or videos perpetuating these stereotypes. Perhaps, society feels threatened by women taking control of the wheel – literally and figuratively.

Taking Control: Redefining What’s Possible

Driving is not a privilege that belongs to men. It is an empowering skill that gives women independence and freedom. Yes, the road ahead may be full of challenges – from societal judgments to personal doubts – but the rewards are worth it. This blog is dedicated to all the women who have decided to learn this skill, despite the stigma. It’s time we challenge the status quo.

Driving isn’t just about getting from point A to point B; it’s about owning your independence, taking control of your life, and embracing the empowerment that comes with it. Each mile is a step towards challenging the norms and redefining what women can and should do.